Childhood
Online:
A Digital Parenting Strategy
We will tell you about the negative impact the Internet can have on children's lives and how to keep them safe online.
This story happened to Elina (name changed) a few years ago. A teenager from Kazakhstan
was harmlessly chatting online with a handsome young man (as she thought) from
Copenhagen. The girl had no experience of interacting with a man, so a couple of charming
compliments were quite enough to gain her trust and arouse sympathy.
Communication was pleasant and the online relationship developed quickly. At some point,
the interlocutor demanded to use the webcam during the conversation. However, the
interlocutor did not turn on his own camera, referring to the fact that this function does not
work on his gadget.
Elina agreed. But his demands didn't end there.
was harmlessly chatting online with a handsome young man (as she thought) from
Copenhagen. The girl had no experience of interacting with a man, so a couple of charming
compliments were quite enough to gain her trust and arouse sympathy.
Communication was pleasant and the online relationship developed quickly. At some point,
the interlocutor demanded to use the webcam during the conversation. However, the
interlocutor did not turn on his own camera, referring to the fact that this function does not
work on his gadget.
Elina agreed. But his demands didn't end there.
“
"He started asking me to sit in my skirt and show my panties. Or he would not communicate
with me. Everything was not enough for him, he asked me to take off my clothes and show
more," the girl recalls.
with me. Everything was not enough for him, he asked me to take off my clothes and show
more," the girl recalls.
The situation was out of control. All this was terribly unpleasant for a teenage girl, but she
did not understand how to stop this communication without consequence. The interlocutor began to blackmail her, said he was going to distribute photos on the Internet, send them to her friends. Elina was in shock, hysteria and fear. She did not turn to anyone for help. She was afraid.
After a while, the girl managed to block the intruder. This experience became
an important lesson for her about how dangerous communication in the Internet could be.
did not understand how to stop this communication without consequence. The interlocutor began to blackmail her, said he was going to distribute photos on the Internet, send them to her friends. Elina was in shock, hysteria and fear. She did not turn to anyone for help. She was afraid.
After a while, the girl managed to block the intruder. This experience became
an important lesson for her about how dangerous communication in the Internet could be.
Psychologist Lyailya Yesnazarova explains that such situations can cause psychological
trauma, especially if the child trusted a stranger and overstepped the boundaries of personal safety. To avoid such cases, it is important to discuss the potential dangers of the Internet with children.
trauma, especially if the child trusted a stranger and overstepped the boundaries of personal safety. To avoid such cases, it is important to discuss the potential dangers of the Internet with children.
Parents recommended to talk through the situation. "I read in the news that a girl had this trouble. It turns out it happens. She trusted a stranger and didn't expect anything bad. But people are different, some people are trustworthy, and you may not even notice that you have fallen for a bad person's trick.
First, if a child is informed that sexualized exploitation online exists, it's better than if they don't know about such things.
Second, the conversation may reveal that the child already knows better than you do about this, perhaps someone he or she knows has been in a similar situation.
So you only need to discuss the specific case, refraining from making any value judgments about the girl or boy who got into this trouble.
Be careful, because if you judge the victim, your child will be afraid to come to you if he or she is in a similar situation, because you have previously judged the victim of fraud. This can lead to the child thinking that you will judge them as well.
“
"However, it is best when a child grows up in a healthy family where he has a strong
emotional bond and healthy attachment with his parents and other family members. Then he
will clearly recognize and react accordingly if someone tries to abuse his trust or body and will not allow such relationships to go further," adds Lyailya Yesnazarova.
emotional bond and healthy attachment with his parents and other family members. Then he
will clearly recognize and react accordingly if someone tries to abuse his trust or body and will not allow such relationships to go further," adds Lyailya Yesnazarova.
A study by Kazakhstan Kids Online (UNICEF) found that a significant proportion of children have experienced unpleasant situations on the Internet, including receiving sexual messages or propositions:
However, most parents do not know about such cases or do not consider them possible. Only 8% responded that they know their child has seen sexual content on the Internet.
It is worrying that more often than not, when in an unpleasant situation, children turn to their peers for help rather than to adults.
It is worrying that more often than not, when in an unpleasant situation, children turn to their peers for help rather than to adults.
“
"This happens for a variety of reasons: lack of trusting relationships with parents or loved ones, fear of possible consequences, lack of trust that the problem will be taken seriously, or fear of losing access to the Internet. As a result, parents may underestimate the risks their children face online. In addition, international data shows an increase in online grooming (communication for the purpose of seduction – Editor’s note) of children over the past four years", - says Aisulu Bekmusa, Program Manager of UNICEF Child Protection.
To help children avoid online sexual exploitation, UNICEF recommends that parents teach their children 10 simple but important rules:
- 1.A virtual acquaintance may not be who they say they are.
- 2.It is necessary to avoid too close communication with those whom you do not know in real life.
- 3.If a stranger sends you an intimate photo, block their account immediately.
- 4.Don't be afraid to talk to your parents, teacher, or school counselor about it.
- 5.Report the incident on the network or messenger where the abuser wrote to you.
- 6.Don't send too personal photos and videos, nude images and messages of an intimate nature that could be used against you.
- 7.Never agree to the invitation of a virtual acquaintance to go to his house or meet somewhere else.
- 8.Go to the police with your parents. It is a crime to send sexual messages to minors.
- 9.Save any messages, photos or other evidence of contact with that person.
- 10.Find support.
Sexualized exploitation on the Internet is not the only problem. Kazakhstanis note that their children have also experienced extortion, fraud, cyberbullying and even being driven to suicide.
The original text has been preserved
- There was suicidal coercion. Which is what happened
- The child saw in the tic tok as a boy gave out some bonuses in the game, it was necessary for this to drop money on the bank card, he dropped, but the bonuses were not given.
- There were threats from classmates and friends of classmates. The child reported about it, timely measures were taken and work with “jokers” was carried out
- Heard foul language during online games
- My daughter joined some community of Korean pop group fans. There strangers asked for information about my daughter, then asked me to transfer money to bank card, allegedly for a loan. 200-500 tenge, no more.
- Fraud, but that was a long time ago. My son was promised something if he put money in. He begged me to deposit it, but in the end he got nothing. Since then he doesn't trust anyone and doesn't spend money in the virtual world
Scammers often swindle money from children over the Internet. One of the common methods is the promise to donate virtual currency in games in exchange for real money on a bank card.
Mikhail Belyakov’s son found in such a trap when his parents were not at home.
Mikhail's son saw a stranger in TikTok who offered to donate 20 times more money to
Fortnite for transferring 500 tenge ($1) to a bank card. The offer sounded good,
and the boy forwarded the money even he broke his family's rules about transfers to game donations.
Mikhail Belyakov’s son found in such a trap when his parents were not at home.
Mikhail's son saw a stranger in TikTok who offered to donate 20 times more money to
Fortnite for transferring 500 tenge ($1) to a bank card. The offer sounded good,
and the boy forwarded the money even he broke his family's rules about transfers to game donations.
Using his card, he made a transfer to the cheater's account. After that, the recipient claimed that the money had not arrived and asked to repeat the operation. Waiting for a miracle, the boy transferred money twice more, but never received the promised donation. When the parents returned home, the son was in panic.
“
"He felt himself very upset, through tears he asked to block his bank card and his phone too," recalls his father.
Psychologist Lyailya Yesnazarova notes that in such situations it is important for the child to receive relevant support from parents. The child should know that he or she can turn to them with any problem, and they will be on his or her side, ready to help and not blame for mistakes.
“
"If a child has become a victim and does not know where to look for help, for example, if he or she is afraid to turn to parents and is left alone with the problem, this can only aggravate the situation. Therefore, it is important to build trusting relationships in the family and teach children the rules of online safety," Yesnazarova adds.
So, Mikhail and his wife talked to their son, explaining the situation to him and providing him with proper parental support. Afterwards, they tried to find the cheater online, but to no avail - his TikTok account was already blocked, and the boy did not remember his nickname.
Despite the small amount of the transfer, the head of the family did not want to let the matter rest.
Mikhail contacted the bank, gave the number of the card to which the funds had been
transferred, and received confirmation that the cheater was also a client of this bank, which should make it easier to identify him. However, a week later he received a reply from the bank: "Everything went well from our side, the money was delivered to the recepient. We cannot help you in any way.
Despite the small amount of the transfer, the head of the family did not want to let the matter rest.
Mikhail contacted the bank, gave the number of the card to which the funds had been
transferred, and received confirmation that the cheater was also a client of this bank, which should make it easier to identify him. However, a week later he received a reply from the bank: "Everything went well from our side, the money was delivered to the recepient. We cannot help you in any way.
All hope was in the police. It was unacceptable for Mikhail to let a man who stole money from children fraudulently go unpunished.
He first sent an electronic statement to law enforcement, and a week later he was called to the police station with his son.
He first sent an electronic statement to law enforcement, and a week later he was called to the police station with his son.
“
"We arrived, sat in the office for two hours, rewrote the statement several times, we were exhausted. We added all the data to the report: the statement, the time, the cheater’s card number. It would seem that we already had everything. But time has passed, and there is no reaction. My messages are now simply ignored," Mikhail is indignant.
Nevertheless, the psychologist argues that the correct course of action is to save screenshots and contact the law enforcement authorities. A child should know that parents stand up for him or her and see an example of defending their rights.
“
"Perhaps the chances of getting money back from abusers are weak, however it is still important to take at least some action. And it is important not to go against the child's will, without insulting or humiliating him, to offer your help and together write a statement," advises Lyailya Yesnazarova.
Nowadays, where technology plays a key role in children's lives, it is important not only to control its use, but also to teach children how to interact consciously and safely in the online environment. This will help them avoid many of the problems and frustrations that can arise due to lack of awareness or naivety.
The survey, conducted by as part of the "Children&Networks" information campaign,
showed that the majority of respondents recognized that dependence on gadgets can have a negative impact on children.
The survey, conducted by as part of the "Children&Networks" information campaign,
showed that the majority of respondents recognized that dependence on gadgets can have a negative impact on children.
However, only 71% of parents realize that they are responsible for their children's online safety.
UNICEF Child Protection Program Manager Aisulu Bekmusa, emphasizes:
“
"When parents don't discuss possible online risks with their children, it can lead to a number of problems. First, children remain unaware of potential risks and fail to recognize dangerous
situations. Second, a lack of dialog with parents can leave children without the support and advice they need, making them more vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation by abusers."
Discussing the dangerous situations of the Internet with children is an important step in protecting them. It helps children to recognize threats, respond appropriately and know where to apply for support. It is important that parents are actively involved in this process to ensure their children are safe and supported in the digital world.
- Author: Katerina Afanasyeva
Editor: Tatiana Trubacheva
Layout: Katerina Afanasyeva
Illustrations: Katerina Afanasyeva with the help of neural networks This material is funded by the European Union.
Its contents are the sole responsibility of the "Children&Networks" project team and do not necessarily reflect the views of the European Union.
"Children&Networks" project team:
Katerina Afanasyeva
Mikhail Belyakov
Nasiba Nuritdinova
Moldir Utegenova